Creepy Crawlies & The Hibbity Jibbity's

Josh and I are living the true "American Dream." We (mostly he) work our behinds off to be a happy middle class family. (Who gets the shaft at tax time, might I add.) We do what most happy American families do on a lazy Saturday.... yard work! Yippee! I decided to give the hubby a much deserved break today though. I got up at 6:30 and headed to work to get my chores done. This was all so I could get yard work done before we got hit hard by the thunderstorms that our "genius" weatherman predicted. The first half of mowing is always a breeze. I prefer to mow the front yard first. That way if I get too tired, I can pull the ghetto white trash move, and leave the back yard for a later date. :) The second half always reminds me that a big back yard is not always a desirable thing. I swear on all that is holy, my next house will have a yard made of freaking astro turf. Anyways, as I was mowing away, thinking about all the problems we've had with our home as new (and quite frankly, ignorant) homeowners, i came across a fallen tree limb. I picked it up to throw it out of my way and found these creepy crawlies.




Those, my friends, are frigging termites. As if we don't have enough wrong with our house, lets add a termite infestation in our back yard. My first thought was "I wonder how much insurance money we could get if I torch our house." And then my second thought was "Crap, how much is this going to cost me!?" (disclaimer; I, in no way shape or form, claim responsibility if our house burns to the ground in the near future.) I LOVE being a homeowner! <--- insert sarcastic tone here.

Now let me introduce you to the most disgusting bug ever.



The Earwig. I believe this bugs sole purpose on earth is to make me scream and jump up and down like a 3 year old girl. I had never actually seen one until i moved to El Paso. And they have decided to build a nest in our tree. Thankfully I've only ever seen one in my house. Otherwise this place would have been torched a long time ago. (once again, I, in no way shape or form, claim responsibility if our house burns to the ground in the near future.) They love moist areas. And they scatter like roaches as soon as the see a light. Which is why you can only see the top half of this little guy.

Now for the grand finale. Parker dubbed this bug "The coolest bug that ever lived" today.



This is apparently a Spotted Leopard Slug. He/She is a hermaphrodite, and measures in at a whopping 4 inches. Normally when I see a slug, I go running for a salt shaker, but I decided to spare the little guy/girl and set it free. Parker wanted to keep it as a pet, but I'm positive he would have killed in within 15 minutes. I'm still trying to figure out how our cats have survived this long. Another interesting fact, Slugs don't poop from the normal "routine" area of the body. (Please refer to picture)



This was discovered after he took a nice big poo on Josh's hand. We immediately returned him to his home after that. (NOTE; Slug goo does not wash off hands easily. So pick up a slug at your own risk.)

So that's my day in a nutshell. I will be having nightmares about bugs for weeks to come. Or dreams of the Terminex man showing up and blasting the crap out of my backyard. :)